The grass is always greener on the other side
Your brain is wired for comparision and here comes the quote “the grass is always greener on the other side” in so handy. Even if you want to be satisfied with what you have there is often this little voice inside of you saying “But what about her?” Why is she so successful, why is it so easy for her, how comes she´s having so many friends?
This sounds like envy, doesn´t it? Can it be that a function in the brain that helps us discern what is potentially harmful from what is not also is making us envious of other people. How odd and blunt!
Swedish psychiatrist Anders Hansen is on of the scientists studying and explaining for us non-scientists how the brain functions and works in relation to how we live today. He says “The brain is to a large extent not at all adapted to our modern society. Evolutionary speaking parts of the brain is still living on the savannah”. No cars, computers or commutes in sight. With lot´s of time to rest and recover after being in (real) danger, allowing for your nervous system to release all the stress etc.
Back to the art of comparision: What are your favourite objects?
Could it be:
- Your neighbours house?
- Another artists success?
- Someone looking so young and healthy?
In some wisdom and psychology traditions you talk about envy as a pointer to what you long for. Now longing for something sounds much nicer, doesn´t it? Your longing can guide you to actions that will take you there, if you take them seriously and go through the necessary steps.
I would love to live in a beautiful house.
For two weeks this summer I will 1) reorganise my storage and 2) move around my art and other beauties to see my current home with new eyes. Thirdly I will have all the meals I can outside in our neighbourhood garden.
I long to be a successful artist.
I promise myself to paint 20 min every day to create a body of work and improve my painting skills.
Looking young and healthy.
This is about acceptance, I think. Time flies and the wrinkles around the eyes are proof that you´ve been laughing in the sun. Who would like to miss out on that?
The imperfects: Podcast tip on reframing Success.
Listening there is a true AHA moment for me. Maybe you have heard “Where attention goes- energy flows” or “What you focus on will grow”. So in one sense it´s nothing new but it is said in such a beautiful and tangible way. I love water, to drink it and how it feels on the skin, how it sounds when raining and when I water my plants.
The quote reminds me I can choose where to focus. Doing this saying Thank You when I notice that my brain is in (not so helpful) comparision modus and then choosing more wisely how to refocus.
From Kemi Nekvapil, interviewed in this episode, I also pick up a line of questioning that i find largely helpful when needing to clarify on a deeper level. It involves your head, your heart and your gut!
Thank You to Phoebe Gander and Julie Burchill for this podcast tip. You find them on “Fail like an artist” another podcast favourite of minei